Dear Miss Nash, Though this poem was a bad one, you have potential in improvement in the lines "Where humans live" or "Oh what fools." Perhaps you could draw some paralells in your writing from the fear people have of bees to greater fears in our human natures; such as auditioning for a school play, jumping into your first relationship, etc. Good luck with whatever you choose to write about, Genevive Louise Noette
This poem is not the best. The rhyming is random, and the idea is different. But you have a great start. I liked the lines about humans running and screaming in fear of such a tiny thing. That's a really good line.
pretty random. i liked it though even though it was "very bad poetry".
ReplyDeletei like how you end it,
swat
smash
gone
Dear Miss Nash,
ReplyDeleteThough this poem was a bad one, you have potential in improvement in the lines "Where humans live" or "Oh what fools." Perhaps you could draw some paralells in your writing from the fear people have of bees to greater fears in our human natures; such as auditioning for a school play, jumping into your first relationship, etc.
Good luck with whatever you choose to write about,
Genevive Louise Noette
I agree with Norah, very random. How can a bee "zing and sing?" Maybe you can use that for your next poem and show how something can.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is not the best. The rhyming is random, and the idea is different. But you have a great start. I liked the lines about humans running and screaming in fear of such a tiny thing. That's a really good line.
ReplyDelete